Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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