After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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