naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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