just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
