You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
