I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
