the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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