I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
