yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
