If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
