Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
