my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize