Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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