Small penises have feelings too.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
