Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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