Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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