i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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