So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
