I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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