I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
