Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
did you just send me my own nude
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
