Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm at about main and main street
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
