Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
