What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
