Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
