Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize