Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
