Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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