Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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