Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
