I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
