well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
as a side note pls kill me
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