So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Randomize
