i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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