dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
