I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
