.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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