end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
