ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize