OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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