U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
