I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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