Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
