Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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