Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
