my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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