I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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