I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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