yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
