someone get that fucking seahorse.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i think i have two assholes
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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