I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
