your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
