Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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