Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Randomize
