talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
