I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
