He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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