She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
