You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
