Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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