just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dignity is for republicans.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
