he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The power of my boobs compel you
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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