come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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