im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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