Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize