She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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