Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
