Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
